Eva Tours
by Oxymoron-02
Summary: Shinji and Asuka bunk off to take a tour of the parts of Tokyo-3 the public and the viewers don't get see...(starting with Geofront!)
1. Hey! Let's play truant!

I own not Neon Genesis Evangelion, for if I did I wouldn't be writing this... I'd turn it into an anime cartoon version ^_^  
  
Eva Tours  
  
It was a beautiful day and in the Katsuragi household things were normal. Highly suspicious.  
  
Asuka and Shinji were eating breakfast and Misato was waiting patiently, (uh...forget that), Misato was waiting for them.  
  
"How long does it take?!" she exclaimed. "Could you please hurry up? We're already late-"  
  
"Because of you and your hair." interjected Asuka flatly.  
  
Misato fumed, "Hey! You know the spray doesn't hold as well if it doesn't have my special ingredient in it."  
  
"So of course, you had to go shopping to get more, you shouldn't drink so much of it." (Yes, it's true, Misato even mixes beer into her hairspray!)  
  
Misato decided to ignore this comment and went down to the car to wait. Shinji made up his mind that this was a perfect opportunity to talk to Asuka. 'If no one else is around she might be nice, right?' his subconscious suggested.  
  
"So, Asuka..." he started, met with 100%, Weapons-Grade look, "Nice weather today huh?" he managed to finish feebly. He instantly regreted this. Asuka had a look that suggested 'Talk to me again, and they won't find the body for months.'  
  
"YOU, are talking to ME?" the words carried so much venom they put the largest snake in the world to shame.  
  
Shinji wished his subconscious would commit suicide and take him with it.  
  
"yes" he squeezed out. Then, something miraculous happened. Shinji instantly felt like he'd won the rollover prize on the Lotto.  
  
"It is quite nice out" Asuka stated. "In fact, it seems a shame to be cooped up in a school or highly top secret underground complex." she savoured the look on his face. The kid looked like he'd just won the rollover prize on the Lotto. "What say we give ourselves a day off?"  
  
Shinji exploded with excitement, "Yeahthat'dbereallycoolAsukaIcan'twaitwhere'rewegonnago?" he managed to say in around four 5ths of a nano-second. (Give or take)  
  
"Well I was thinking we could go for a tour around Tokyo 3" she savoured this look with even more glee, she knew Shinji would've suggested the cinema, back row, little pervert. "Because there's supposed to be a whole city here but they really don't show much of it" she explained.  
  
'They'...'Show' Shinji thought, just the teeniest bit confused. Then moved on, 'I really hoped she'd say cinema. Might have actually gotten away with something in the back row...'  
  
And so began the day...  
  
After abseiling down the back of the apartment block and ducking from tree to tree, the two truants made their way to a tour-bus on-off point.  
  
Once they got there, they found it odd that the sign proudly stated 'Eva Tours', Asuka was about to point this out to Shinji, when she noticed he was currently preoccupied with staring at a rather lovely lady's breasts. Asuka immediately took this as a threat and so dealt with it in the only way she saw possible.  
  
Shinji flew into the road just as the tour bus arrived...  
  
...missing him by mere centimetres. (how could i kill off the main character?!? *launches into a big lecture on why you shouldn't kill off main characters* A somewhat higher function of my brain will now take over...)  
  
The bus beeped it's horn at Shinji (or rather the driver beeped the bus' hor-"SHUTUP!" Damn, looks like Logic took over the story-telling), Shinji instantly dived out of harm's way...straight into the other lane on busy road. Damn good job that car had good brakes, huh?  
  
Shinji crawled as fast as he could out of the road and onto the bus. He started to take out his wallet when he was interrupted,  
  
"UH, kid, you can stand up now" said the bus driver in a slightly tired tone.  
  
Shinji leapt to his feet, saluting then paid up and went to sit next to Asuka... =============================================================  
  
Whoa! First chapter done! Wasn't actually planning on doing the story in chapters but looks like it's going that way. Oh well You know what they say... 


	2. Oh, this can not be good!

I own not Neon Genesis Evangelion, for if I did I wouldn't be writing this... I'd turn it into an anime cartoon version ^_^ And good news! Less Author-notes interrupting!  
Eva Tours  
  
The seats on the bus were comfy. Leopard skin, but comfy. Shinji began to nestle down into the seat, leaning on Asuka...  
  
By chance he landed straight on the woman he had been ogling earlier... Which angered Asuka even more and as she leapt over to him the bus actually tipped onto two wheels with the force Asuka put into her pounce. The driver didn't seem to notice this on any major level, merely tipping his head slightly as for some reason the road had tipped...  
  
Just then a chirpy voice piped up as everyone turned to look at the tour guide-lady. "Good morning!" Everyone instantly wished they'd got a different guide, this one had an annoying voice..."Welcome to Eva Tours, the only tour that shows you the real reason for Tokyo-3's existence."  
  
This got Asuka and Shinji's attention. They looked at each, then looked around at the others on the bus, trying to keep their faces neutral. The other patrons(isn't that a great word?!) wondered what was wrong with the two children. The two turned to look at each other, Shinji spoke first, very quietly, "Is she talking about what i think she's talking about?" he asked Asuka.  
  
Asuka was trying to listen to what else the guide was saying so she clapped a hand over Shinji's mouth.  
  
"...going to the Top Secret underground complex, the Geofront, host to NERV, and the two captive Angels, Adam, now in embyonic form, and Lillith, crucified in Terminal Dogma." the guide finished, before looking round out of the windscreen, then turning round and hurriedly telling all on board to belt up as they approach the entry point.  
  
The bus smashed through the gates, the guards seemingly not noticing, and barreled towards the car-train that would take them underground.  
  
"They'll never make it past steel door" Asuka exclaimed, stating the obvious.  
  
Which is why she was surprised when a whirring noise came to her right, she and Shinji peered out of the window to see a rather large metal tube extruding from the side of the bus. It didn't take long for Asuka to figure out what was happening.  
  
A rocket shot towards the steel door and Asuka and Shinji just knew it would be strong enough to break through.  
  
Yep.  
  
The bus sailed through the large hole in the now smoking remains of the door as the guide piped up again.  
  
"Hope that wasn't too scary for the little ones on board" she chimed.  
  
Several people couldn't hear for the screams coming from the babies on board.  
  
"We are now on the car-train (Logic 'Now how could the car-train possibly fit a whole bus on it, we quite plainly saw from the first episode that Misato's car barely fit on it, so how could the bus possib-*THWACK* ok, new brain function taking over)  
  
Shinji sidled up to Asuka  
  
"How you doin'?" he asked (a la Joey Tribbiani from F.R.I.E.N.D.S), he started to run his hand up the inside of her thigh-(DAMMIT! My Libido took over...hold on...*THWACK*, there we go, who is it now...,...,...ah, that's ok, laid-back Oxymoron_02 now at the helm)  
  
Asuka and Shinji leapt apart, both were so embarrassed Asuka didn't even bother to hurt Shinji(that and i can't think of any other humourous events...)  
  
The bus then entered that bit of the track where you first see the Geofront, there was a chorus of "oooooh" 's and "aaahh" 's from the passengers, and a look of total horror from Asuka and Shinji, not only had they realised that if this bus was 'apprehended' by NERV security, they would be on board, but also, dum dum dummm! They were going to one of the places they wanted to avoid today.  
  
Asuka sighed, "Oh crap!" ============================================================= Second Chapter ^_^ Tried to put less Author-notes but my brain kinda got the better of me, when I get going I just can't stop. Sorry all. 


	3. Now entering NERV HQ Please keep all app...

I own not Neon Genesis Evangelion, for if I did I wouldn't be writing this... I'd turn it into an anime cartoon version ^_^  
Eva Tours  
  
This was so definitely not good.  
  
The bus arrived at the get-off-the-car-train-bit, and began to drive along the roads of the Geofront...  
  
"Well, wasn't that fun" chirped the guide, "I hope you all enjoyed the view and took lots of pictures"  
  
A chorus of groans and sighs escaped the passengers as they simultaneously realised they hadn't taken a single photo as they were so shocked by the view. One brat of a boy was particularly peeved by this fact.  
  
"WANNA WANNA WANNA GO BACK AND TAKE A PICTURE!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. He then proceeded to climb onto the roof on the top of his lungs and yelled in a close to demonic voice,  
  
"MAKE THE BUS DRIVER GO BACK NOW!"  
  
The guide, well-trained in dealing with kiddies decided to alleviate his mood, "Now now, we'll be able to take a picture on the way back" she cooed in a voice dripping with milk and cookies. This seemed to offend the boy as he began to swell and mutate... The driver didn't notice any of what had just happened. But that's another story.  
  
Asuka and Shinji hadn't noticed either as they were so horrified at the prospect of being caught on this bus and made to go back to *shudder* school. Shinji grew a temporary back-bone, muchlike the internal battery of an Eva Unit it was a good for a certain amount of time unless stressed...  
  
"Yeah Asuka let's go on a tour, let's see the city, let's get sent to the Geofront on an unauthorised tour bus which is probably gonna get blown up. Yeah...uh...yeah!" his ending faltered as the look he recieved from Asuka went straight to his spine and snapped it like a breadstick. Immediately the old Shinji returned. "I'mreallysorryAsukaandit'llneverhappenagainandIdon'tknowwhatcameovermeand- ", once again he was cut off as Asuka's hand slapped over his mouth again.  
  
"Shutup you dummkopf, people are starting to look at us" she hissed under her breath.  
  
Shinji really wanted to die now.  
  
The passengers looked away as a loud scatchynoise diverted their attention to the guide,  
  
"Ooh, sorry! OK. We are now approaching NERV HQ's main entrance." she announced. (does NERV have a main entrance?)  
  
The bus at this point showed no signs of stopping. Putting the Night Bus in Harry Potter to shame(if you don't know what I'm blabbin' about just ignore it. Oh, and Rowling, I know I don't own HP), the tour bus went through the main doors, as in passed in between them, not smashed through them. It proceeded past the reception desk(taking liberties here) and turned left at the sign which read 'Top Secret. Do not pass. This way to NERV central command'  
  
The corridors, strangely, posed no problem to the bus, it just scraped along the walls and ceiling, various NERV employees diving into the nearest doorway, several unlucky employees, however, didn't make it. The bus driver turned on the windscreen wipers...  
  
Asuka and Shinji hadn't said anything in a while, this was because they were currently travelling along NERV corridors at an alarming rate, somehow turning corners in a bus while a few NERV employees were reduced to streaks on the windscreen, ground in further by the wipers. The other passengers didn't seem to find any of this a problem. This somewhat unnerved Asuka and she found herself unable to speak, as for Shinji, Asuka had forgotten to remove her hand from his mouth(bet you forgot too, huh? Gold star for anyone who remembered!) ============================================================= Boring chapter I know, I appear to have just written about anything. BUT! Next chapter will be NERV central command, featuring Gendo Ikari with his hands away from his face! I can't believe it!  
  
Big shout to Theweirdone for reviewing the first two chapters anf keeping me writing. Thanks ^_^ 


	4. Enter the fun zone!

I own not Neon Genesis Evangelion, for if I did I wouldn't be writing this... I'd turn it into an anime cartoon version ^_^  
  
Eva Tours  
  
The bus was currently approaching an elevator, this didn't seem to pose a problem (hey, the bus is inside NERV corridors without so much as a scratch, why should an elevator stop it?!). Once again a slight whirring noise occurred and this time a small rod began to extend towards the elevator's call-pad(you know, the button thing you press). To the pilots utter amazement, despite slightly expecting it, a small white hand popped out of the end and gave the 'Down' button a small push. The elevator doors pinged open and the bus entered the lift.  
  
"OK ladies and gentleman, and kiddlewinks! Now it's just a short ride down to Central Command, which is where operations are controlled..." Asuka and Shinji soon grew bored of the Tour Guide's ramblings. Being the actual pilots they knew most of it already.  
  
"OK Shinji, I'm gonna give you two seconds to figure out a way to get out of this." Asuka stated. "Too late, I'm gonna have to hurt you now!" she added.  
  
"What! Wait! But it took you two seconds to finish the sente-" Shinji was cut short by Asuka's fist smashing into his jaw. Asuka loved the look on Shinji's face when he knew pain was imminent... and even more when said pain occurred.  
  
Shinji got the feeling Asuka liked hurting him. So again, he retreated inside his head. 'I should just tell her how I feel, but then, she should already know, what with the trying to kiss her in her sleep and tellin' her next day and all...'  
  
PING!  
  
"Ladies and gentleman, we are now in Central Command. If you'll look straight ahead you'll see we are approaching the main command area, as I said before, this is where all operations are controlled, orders given, Eva's launched, and if neccessary, total annihalation is approved..." the guide let this sink in but saw no obvious signs of trauma. This was the most unnattached group she'd led, it was the first, and only time she, or anyone, had been given this tour and she'd expected the group to be more responsive. Especially those two kids that seemed to be on their own. She made a mental note to keep an eye on them...  
  
The bus entered the area in which main people in Evangelion sit,(just know all the terms don't I!) the tech staff were currently engaged in a network game of Hearts on their terminals and the Comander, who actually had his hands away from his mouth (SHOCK HORROR! What is he doing?! I can't believe it!), was writing at his desk. And so it seemed only Fuyutski noticed the bus as he stared in wide-eyed surprise.  
  
"Uh, Sir, sorry to bother you but-" he began.  
  
"Not now Footsie, I'm conducting serious business here." Gendo interjected.  
  
Fuyutski sighed.  
  
"It's Fuyutski sir, and you're not conducting serious business, you're writing humorous limmericks for christmas crackers." he corrected his superior, "And it would seem there is a bus in here with us..." Fuyutski stared in amazement  
  
Commander Ikari looked up.  
  
Commander Ikari looked.  
  
Commander Ikari looked some more.  
  
He saw a bus.  
  
This was odd. It was a blue bus and everybody knows buses are red, like in London. So of course this bus can't have been real. He dismissed it as a form of mass hallucination, which he explained to Footsie, um, Fuyutski.  
  
Fuyutski would accept anything rather than believe a bus had managed to get this far unchallenged while several gigantic monstrosities with special powers had failed(that's the Angels ya see).  
  
"Indeed sir"  
  
On the bus, Shinji and Asuka breathed a sigh of relief, the bus's exterior microphones(hot damn, this bus got everything!) had picked up the brief conversation. 'That was too close' thought Shinji, 'I thought for sure father was going to have us destroyed'  
  
'Ah' the guide thought to herself, 'The paint thing worked'  
  
"SHINJI!" Asuka yelled into his ear for the third time, "Stop thinking to yourself and get off the bus now, we're getting out to have a look around."  
  
The other passengers had already clambered off the bus and were waiting for the pilots. (Seem to have a thing for making people wait, don't they? Makes ya wonder^_^) Shinji and Asuka got off the bus to join the group. They nervously looked up towards the group of NERV employees where they sat but had nothing to worry about as Gendo was currently reciting his latest masterpiece,  
  
"Ok? So there was this man from the docks, and this man, he liked to stroke..."  
  
The guide began to describe the surrounding area, again. She seemed to have forgotten that she had already said this bit several times on the bus. Asuka looked around her, they were currently standing on the lowest level of that big ol' metal place in front of the map. It was interesting, Asuka had never been to this level before and the holographic map was gigantic from down here. Especially seeing as it was projected over that sheer drop.  
  
"Weeee! Lookat me!" yelled the annoying little kid from earlier on, he was walking very carefully along the ledge.  
  
"Please come down from there!" cried the guide, clearly distraught that a small child was about to lose his life, she began carefully edging her way towards him until Asuka decided to take matters into her own hands.  
  
"That's it. Watch out. Coming through. Hey! Move it or lose it sister!" she shouted at a nun that happened to be standing in her way. She strode up to the boy but as she went to grab him, she 'accidentally' pushed him off the ledge.  
  
"Aaaarrgghhh!", the little freak screamed all the way down. Nobody said a thing until they heard a faint *thump* and "oooowwwww" from down below.  
  
"Hmmm, guess I forgot I'm not very good with my co-ordination." Asuka stated as she pulled off a perfect backflip to land next to Shinji, who was now absorbed into his own little world again as he had just seen up Asuka's skirt when she backflipped. Asuka, being no fool, realised this and delivered such a blow to the side of his head he started to join the kid below until Unit 001 burst through the wall and caught him by the back of his shirt and carefully placed him back on the other side of the group waaayyy away from Asuka before retreating back through the wall.  
  
Asuka began shouting through the new large hole in the wall, all the guide could pick up was "Unit 02! You better activate too and-"  
  
A large *CLANG* resounded from the hole in the wall and a familiar roar could be detected just before Unit 01 limped through holding it's behind.  
  
The NERV staff had noticed this but as it was related to the bus incident it also couldn't possibly have been real. Gendo went back to writing, 'There once was a woman from Diragina, who had a massive...'  
  
The guide, however, knew this was real and decided to make a note that the giant robot thing had saved the boy.  
  
And then she made another note to stay the hell away from the girl.  
  
"Ladies and gentleman, if you'll follow me back to the bus I think it's time to go to another area." she chimed.  
  
=============================================================== Did that seem lame to you? It did to me, tried to spice it up but my computer was really screwed, was running Widows ME, but had to format the drive and was running Win95 in safe mode (Anybody who doesn't understand that, LEARN MORE ABOUT COMPUTERS YA BUMS! ) at the time of this chapter's being written. Anyway, it basically means my computer didn't have sound, high colour or internet and I couldn't play games 'cos the cd drives wouldn't be detected. So all I could do was write and look at pretty pictures in crap colour. And it explains why I didn't put this chapter up sooner. 


	5. I be taking a wee break now

A Revisional Note   
  
(what? what is that? Revisional? what the hell is that   
  
when it's at home smokin' a big fat cigar?)  
  
Anyway, just lettin' all you good people know that I won't be writing chapter 5 til' I get me life sorted out, I left school you see, and now I gotta get a job (yes, JUST like the Offspring song, but shutup). And so til' I ring this Connexions place and sort a job and wage and the such-like I will be refraining from filling your lives with the god-like stories I produce. ^_^  
  
Or, seeing as I've already had about a month and a half to ring this place, and haven't, I probably will write.  
  
Depends how I feel.  
  
In chapter 5: The Tour bus visits the Eva Cages (so I suppose the tourists do too)  
  
And Rei pops her wee head up to say hello!   
  
Signing Off  
  
Oxymoron_02  
  
(send e-money to e-mail address, I need moolah!!) 


End file.
